We’ve all been there — someone tells us something disappointing or frustrating, and the words “What a shame” instinctively tumble out. It’s a polite, tried-and-true way to show sympathy or disappointment. But let’s be honest — sometimes it can sound a little flat, or like we didn’t quite know what else to say.
So, what if you had more expressive, heartfelt, or even casual alternatives ready to go?
In this post, we’ll explore 12 better ways to say “What a shame” that’ll help you sound more relatable, thoughtful, or empathetic in your conversations. Whether you’re consoling a friend, responding to bad news, or just reacting to an unfortunate story, these phrases can help you connect more authentically.
Why Replace “What a Shame”?
Before diving into the alternatives, let’s consider this: language helps shape our relationships. The way we respond to someone can influence how supported or heard they feel. “What a shame” is a safe, neutral phrase, but sometimes it doesn’t do justice to what the other person is going through.
Think of it this way — it’s like replying “Fine” when someone asks how you are. Sure, it’s polite, but does it really say anything?
So having a few more emotional expressions in your vocabulary toolbox can go a long way in making your conversations more genuine and empathetic.
12 Alternatives to “What a Shame” (And How to Use Them)
Here are twelve phrases you can use instead of “What a shame,” each with an explanation and example so you know when and how to use them.
1. That’s unfortunate.
This one is a close cousin to “What a shame,” but ever-so-slightly more modern and neutral.
Use it when: You want to keep things polite and slightly formal.
Example:
2. That sucks.
Straightforward, casual, and a bit edgy — “That sucks” is one of the most commonly used ways to express sympathy in everyday speech.
Use it when: You’re with friends, family, or people you’re casual with. It’s not ideal for formal situations.
Example:
3. Oh no!
Sometimes less is more, and a quick “Oh no!” can say everything you’re feeling — surprise, dismay, concern.
Use it when: You hear unexpected bad news or want to feel present in the moment.
Example:
4. That’s too bad.
Like “What a shame,” but more natural-sounding in everyday English.
Use it when: You want to express sympathy without being overly emotional.
Example:
5. I’m sorry to hear that.
This classic response is both polite and warm. It shows empathy and concern.
Use it when: You’re speaking to someone you want to show care and support for, especially in serious situations.
Example:
6. What a pity.
A slightly old-fashioned but still valid expression of sympathy. It echoes “What a shame” but with a bit of flair.
Use it when: You want a more expressive or literary feel. It can also fit in lighthearted situations.
Example:
7. That must be tough.
Here, you acknowledge the emotional weight of someone’s experience.
Use it when: You want to show understanding and reinforce that what the other person is going through isn’t easy.
Example:
8. That’s disappointing.
This choice works when someone had expectations or hopes, and things didn’t pan out.
Use it when: You want to keep the tone mature and matter-of-fact.
Example:
9. Yikes.
Short, punchy, and filled with modern personality. “Yikes” is perfect when you’re caught off guard.
Use it when: You hear something awkward, cringeworthy, or just plain unfortunate.
Example:
10. Bummer.
Fun and casual, “bummer” has been around since the 1970s and hasn’t lost its charm.
Use it when: You want a light, supportive response that doesn’t sound overly dramatic.
Example:
11. Too bad that happened.
This phrase adds a bit more empathy than just “Too bad” and shows you’re absorbing what the person told you.
Use it when: You want your response to have more oomph and attention.
Example:
12. I can imagine how that feels.
Empathy is powerful. This phrase tells the other person you’re really trying to understand their point of view.
Use it when: You want to show deeper emotional support.
Example:
How to Choose the Right Phrase
The best phrase to use depends on three simple things:
- The tone of the conversation: Is this a formal chat or a casual moment between friends?
- Your relationship with the person: Are you consoling a coworker, or joking with a sibling?
- The seriousness of the situation: Are we talking about spilled coffee or a tough breakup?
Think about the emotion you want to show — sympathy, understanding, surprise, or even shared frustration — and pick a phrase that helps you express that.
Bonus Tip: Add a Follow-Up
Sometimes, just saying “That’s too bad” isn’t enough. For a richer, more supportive interaction, try adding a follow-up.
Here are a few examples:
- “That’s disappointing. Do you want to talk about it?”
- “That sucks. Can I help with anything?”
- “Yikes. What are you going to do next?”
These little expressions open up space for deeper conversation — and that’s what communication is all about.
Final Thoughts
We all want to be better communicators — more thoughtful, expressive, and real. Swapping out overused phrases like “What a shame” with more colorful, meaningful alternatives is a simple way to do just that.
The next time someone shares a little heartbreak or annoyance with you, don’t default to the same old line. Instead, thoughtfully choose a phrase that makes them feel heard and supported.
After all, words can be small — but their impact is huge.
So, which of these phrases will you try first? Or do you have a favorite go-to line that always works? Let us know in the comments.
And remember — whether it’s a lost wallet or a lost opportunity, there’s always a better way to say, “What a shame.”